The One About Bacon Pipe Tobacco

Credit/blame for this post goes to my tweeps @dpatrick1a and @BOTSryan
Bacon is one of the three tastiest items available for oral pleasure (one of the other two being pipe tobacco, of course). Most everyone loves bacon, a decadent, sinful slice of savory pleasure.

This lust for the king of pork products has led some inventive pipe smokers to pine for a bacon-flavored aromatic pipe tobacco. Like relaxing with a bowl of, say, whiskey cavendish at the end of a long day, wouldn't it rock to have a bacon blend available as an option?

Yes, it would. But I don't think it's gonna happen.

Most pipe tobacco blends are aromatic, and these have, as a vast rule, a sweet flavor. Aromatic pipe tobaccos are in one of three broad flavor groups: fruit (cherry, apple, raspberry), liquor (above-mentioned whiskey, rum, bourbon) or "dessert" flavors like vanilla, chocolate and cookie dough.

You may say that English blends can be called savory; I agree somewhat, but components of non-aromatic blends have their very own "pipe-tobaccoy" flavor--Latakia is smoky, Perique has its sour tang, and Virginias have their own woodsy glide. But they don't taste like something else; a solid English blend can be as full as a steak, but there is no "steaky," meaty flavor.

Given these facts, I think creating a good bacon blend is almost impossible. The best option would be to just take a bacon-flavored liquid topping and sprinkle it over Burley, but there is no such topping (no, liquid smoke stuff isn't bacon-flavored). Barring that, as Ryan from Black Ops Tobacco has postulated, a mix of Latakia and maple cavendish (smoky, maple bacon) may come close...but the pork, alas, would not be in evidence.

I might try to make a Bloody Mary-flavored blend, with a bacon as an accent flavor. Or a bacon-lettuce-tomato sandwich blend, something...but now we're getting a bit silly.

In the end, certain items are their own "thing." Pipe tobacco is pipe tobacco, and bacon is bacon, irreducible, delicious and unique.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm hungry.

Twitter:  @thepipebit
　

Mr. Black

“No way, no way. Tried it once, doesn’t work.

  You got four guys all fighting over who’s gonna be Mr. Black.”

                                                                           --Reservoir Dogs

Most pipe tobaccos have some sort of sweet component. Aromatics are all about a sweet flavor, sure, but even most English blends have a note of sugar, for contrast with the savory elements. One of the big players in this area is the group of tobaccos known as Black Cavendish: a pressed and flavored tobacco, black in color. Black Cavendish class pipe tobaccos also have varying degrees of sweetness. Two common kinds cover the spectrum of what you can expect in this category, and there is an honorable mention.

Black Cavendish Aromatic: Also known by its initials: BCA. This is the standard of what most pipe smokers think of when the term Black Cavendish is mentioned. It is a sweet, moist, ribbon-cut blend. If you stick your hand in a bag of this and make a fist, some of the tobacco will stick to your fingers--it’s that moist. It will also stick, a bit, to the walls of your pipe’s bowl. For all that, it is an utter standard in American aromatics. The taste is sweet, but not too heavy or overpowering, and plays very well with Burley and Virginias. BCA is a classic and the owner of the Black Cavendishes

Toasted Black Cavendish: Several traits make this different from BCA. It is drier--make a fist in this and little, if any, will stick. The cut is slightly different, a bit more pudgy than BCA’s ribbon cut. And most noticeably, it has the pouch aroma of bagged raisins, in contrast to Black Cavendish Aromatic’s scent of vanilla/chocolate ganache.

The low humidity level of Toasted Black Cavendish make it perfect for adding non-obtrusive sweetness to English blends. Aromatic blends have no problem absorbing the near-dampness of BCA; English mixes, drier by definition, need the more subtle touch of this drier Black Cavendish. Toasted Black Cavendish is made, most popularly, by Altadis and Stokkebye.

Honorable Mention: Vanilla Black Cavendish: This blend, made by McClelland, ramps up the flavor of Black Cavendish. Though BCA is not used, this is very close in terms of moisture content and feel. The difference is in the flavoring, a bit like MacBaren’s Vanilla Crème, but with all black tobaccos. It’s richer than BCA, too, and will surely stick to your fingers. Unique, tasty and sweeter than sugar.

All of the Black Cavendishes mentioned here will be available from a thorough pipe tobacconist, probably by the ounce. Explore and enjoy!

Anniversaries

The heat wave broke last week; at one point, the “feels like” temperature was 107 degrees--somewhat uncomfortable, even to summer die-hards.

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When I was a kid, my parents’ house did not have air conditioning. My room, on the second floor, was a literal hot mess on scorching days. I would eventually get some sleep, with the help of several whirring fans; and in case I got thirsty in the night, my father always left a Dixie cup of cranberry juice on the hall table. He did this every night, no matter the season.

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My father, R.H. Rentner, smoked cigarettes most of his life--Kents was the brand. My mother, Mary Rentner, did not smoke, and never hassled my dad about it. They were a team, and supported and loved each other.

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My father smoked many cigarettes when he told me that I was adopted. Looking back on that conversation, I hope that smoking gave him some level of comfort during that horrifically uncomfortable conversation. I will always remember the blue cigarette smoke coming from the end of his cigarette as he told me the truth. The truth, in fact, was that they were my “real” parents, and always had been; I started to realize that biology meant nothing compared to love.

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Home from college for the summer in the early 1990s, I smoked pipes and cigars in the backyard of their house. My parents were a little surprised to find out that I smoked, and of course I didn’t smoke inside, but there was little criticism from them. I was an adult, after all.

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In later life, my dad gave up Kents. I was working in a tobacco shop by that time, and tried to ease the agony of quitting by bringing home some non-tobacco Ginseng cigarettes. They did seem to help. He said nothing negative about my working in a smoke shop; it was my job, and he supported what I was doing.

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My mom passed away in 2001, and my dad died about 18 months later. They were married to each other for 58 years.

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I still work in a smoke shop. In recent years, I have dipped into Twitter (and Facebook, a different story) and talked with people all over the world. My parents never went online, and never used a computer. Yet, if they were still around, I would try to sit down with them and my iPhone, bring up Twitter, and point out some of my close Followers. “Look!” I’d tell my folks. “In a way, I know these people. I feel closer to some of them than people I know in real life. And folks, I also got the courage to start blogging again, thanks to their friendship.” And they would shake their heads in wonderment, not really understanding, but grateful their son was helped.

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So we wrap up July, and summer heads to a long close during August. We go on, we tweet, we blog. We remember.

Thanks, R.H. and Mary, my real and only parents.

Thanks for giving me my start, and for teaching me.

Thank you.

Happy Anniversary.

R.H. and Mary Rentner, July 31, 1997

Briar and Beyond: Freak Show Pipes

Above picture from kristenpipe.com

Pipes have almost as much variety as pipe tobaccos. Briar, the king of pipe materials, is carved and processed into many unique shapes in addition to the standards of Bulldog, Apple, and so on. Some of the more obscure shapes are Oompaul, Skater and Olipahnt--the last shape being a pipe that has its bowl jutting straight off the shank, instead of the usual upwards-pointing bowl. Yes, it’s a challenge to smoke. There was even a pipe introduced about ten years ago that was as flat as a tongue depressor--the bowl was just a dimple in the wood, and specially-made discs of flattened tobacco (thoughtfully, from the same manufacturer) fit in that area.

Beyond briar is the reliable tier of meerschaum, corn cobs, clay and occasionally, cherry wood. But some pipe manufacturers have, over the history of pipe smoking, made their products out of truly different materials.

Kirsten pipes (cross-section pic at head of this post) have stems and shanks made completely out of, er, metal. This is called the “radiator stem.” The reason? Kirsten pipes feature interchangeability of pipe bowls--any of their bowls will fit on any of their radiator stems. So, you can buy just a bowl and screw it onto your existing pipe--almost a new pipe, presto, without the expense. As a rule, metal is a no-no in pipes, but Kirsten fans treasure the variety this brand offers.

Picture above from legiopraetoria.it

Ah, but you want to try a pipe that is truly out of the ordinary. Then check out the pipes offered (at one time, now on eBay) by the Bartlett Pipe Company (pictured above)  .Bartlett pipes, such as the New Englander and Windjammer, are made of rock maple instead of briar. Oh, and they smoke upside-down--you light and, apparently, smoke the pipe with its bowl pointed at the floor. The system to do this is complicated, but it allegedly works. This company, now apparently defunct, first offered this peculiar style of pipe in what was called the Freedom Smoking Pipe.

Oh, so that’s not unique enough, huh? Wood is old hat and you want something truly different, huh? Aight, then search for the pipe (yes, all lowercase) on eBay. This brand of pipe lined its bowls with a substance called pyrolytic graphite, used originally in aerospace applications. The material created, the company claimed, a lessening of tars and nicotine in this pipe. For an abundance of info about the pipe, visit thepipe.info.  There, author Billie W. Taylor II (PhD.) has put together the definitive source for learning about this product. The company that made the pipe is long gone, though, so like the above Bartlett pipes, eBay and pipe shows are the best places to look for the pipe.

No matter the material you choose for your pipes, be sure to enjoy. Briar is still the reigning champ of pipes, but variety is welcome, in pipe smoking as in life.

Pirates of the Pipe Tobacco

(Note to my blog staff: “For the next post on The Pipe Bit, I want a picture of my humble self decked out as a pirate. I can bring the peg leg and eye patch from home, but I need a cutlass and a parrot. The parrot can be the stuffed kind, if necessary.

What I’m gonna do is tie in blend cuts like rope and coin with pirates. Get it? Like Jack Sparrow and shit like that? No? Well it’s because, you know, pirates use like, rope, and they have treasure with gold coins--Ooh! I’ll need some gold coins too, real gold, for the picture. I’m sure you can take these from the store’s register. And I also want like an audio file of me growling “Aaarrgh, matey,” and a video clip of me waving the cutlass! So that’s all pretty cool, right?”

Chris--sorry, not in the budget.  Sorry--Your Blog Staff)
--


Oh, the bitter injustices we bloggers suffer. Anyway, in a continuing attempt at clarity:

Most pipe tobacco blends come neatly packaged and all ready to smoke, just open the pouch or tin and fill your briar. Some blends, though, require a touch of effort before you can smoke them.

A very old-school type of blend is rope cut. This does indeed look, and feel, like a thick, corded rope. The tobacco is twisted and bound into this shape; and since fine cuts of tobacco would not hold the shape, rope cut blends consist of uncut tobacco leaves--a true rarity in pipe tobacco blends. Sometimes called navy Gawith makes rope cut blends, like their Black XX.

Two other styles of pipe tobacco blends require not cutting, but “rubbing out” (a pause for jokes)…Okay, this term means the smoker takes the tobacco and “rubs” it “out,” between the hands, making a villain’s “heh-heh-heh” gesture, breaking the blend into smaller pieces. Once a blend is rubbed out, the pipe can be filled. Most commonly, this type of pipe mixture is called flake. A flake blend--not the blend component, see the “Basics” post below--is pressed into a “cake,” a small, thin tablet of tobacco. This is then rubbed out. Coin cut, also called birdseye, blend styles are pressed too, but cut into discs. Both flake and coin styles extract the oils in tobacco leaves by pressing; but once rubbed out, can dry quickly. Peter Stokkebye makes a coin cut blend, called Curly Cut, and Sam Gawith offers the legendary Full Virginia Flake. Also, Cornell and Diehl makes a brick-style flake called Pirate Kake (sigh).

These cuts provide a change of pace for the pipe smoker, and are a reminder of the long history and evolution of pipe tobacco blends--for pirates, and everyone else.

Twitter:  @thepipebit

Big Brother: Something on Cigars

I am one of the few people, in our current times, to work in a tobacco store. Or cigar store. Or smoke shop. Or Den of Sin. Call it what you will (just buy something!)

In particular, I work with pipe tobacco, a tiny and arcane area even in the context of a retail tobacconist. For, you see, the product that keeps smoke shops in business is not pipe tobacco. It’s cigars.

True, the image of the wizened, avuncular, corner-store tobacconist whittling away the days thinking up pipe blends is Romantic-capital-R. And it’s also true I am getting wizened and even avuncular (though my employer, Uhle Tobacco, is not on a corner). Alas, though, business does not care for things as they should be, but rather for things as they are, and the way things are regarding retail tobacconists is: MMMMmmmmoney. This means cigars. Cigarettes, too, but that’s for another time.

Blending pipe tobacco is not my only duty at Uhle’s. I also do the receiving of wholesale deliveries, which consist mostly of cigars. These deliveries are unpacked, boxes of cigars laid out on a table like huge dominos, and I then check the contents against a packing slip or invoice. If all is accounted for, I put the cigars in a walk-in humidor, take the paperwork to the office, and go back to pipe tobacco.

I can do that because of those cigars; I would not, frankly, have my job without them. I know this, and appreciate it (and enjoy smoking cigars). Still, there remains a bit of jealousy--the fact is, most customers come in to buy a product I have nothing, directly, to do with. Yes, I know that cigars are less complicated to smoke than pipes. Yes, I know very few people, by comparison with cigars, smoke a pipe. Yes, I know there is a built-in aura of…say, elegance and celebration with cigars.

All true. In the end, I am grateful that one part of the tobacco industry, cigars, can, in essence, support another part, pipe tobacco. Simply--at the retail level--no cigars means no pipe tobacco.

I enjoy and respect cigars, pipe tobacco’s big brother. Hell, there’s even pipe tobacco blends made from cigar leaves (notably by McClelland). A sign of respect--and sales. I hope all tobacco stores can have both, towards all of their products.

Twitter:  @thepipebit

Basics: Pipe Tobaccos and Pipe Tobacco Cuts

“They speak English in What?”

--Jules, Pulp Fiction

To the beginning pipe smoker (and many experienced ones), pipe tobacco terminology can be more confusing than the ret-conning done by Saw V. In a continuing effort at clarity, here are the basics of pipe tobacco and pipe tobacco cuts:

Burley is used in most blends. It has a nutty and subtle flavor. In aromatic blends, it is sometimes pressed and flavored, making it a Cavendish, as in Captain Black. It’s used in English blends to give balance and a hint of natural tobacco taste. When smoked as it‘s unflavored self, burley doesn’t smell too memorable, but this wonderfully adaptive blend component forms the base of many tobacco blends.

Black Cavendish is a catch-all name for burley that has been pressed and flavored with a sweet, sort-of-vanilla topping. Every (decent) tobacconist has at least one Black Cavendish blend; it’s very easy to smoke, flavorful but not overwhelming, and the room aroma is pleasant. All tobaccos in this category are black and flavored, but differ by manufacturer in moisture content (how “wet” a blend feels) and taste. A Black Cavendish may feel dry and smell of raisins (Toasted Black Cavendish from Altadis) or may be moist enough to stick to your hand and have the scent of French vanilla icing (Vanilla Black Cavendish from McClelland). In a blend, this can be used as a primary ingredient in an aromatic, or to give just a hint of sweetness to a primarily English mixture.

Virginia tobaccos have dedicated fans that insist Virginia is The One True Pipe Tobacco To Rule Them All. In it’s most common form, this pale-yellow leaf tastes woody and slightly sweet. Virginia can be “stoved”--exposed to very high heat in processing. This darkens the tobacco, and brings out even more of Virginia’s natural sweetness. They are used to add a bit of body and sugar to English blends, and are used in aromatics to compliment and enhance the blend’s flavors.

Latakia (“Latta-keya“) smells like the smoke from a campfire. That is how it was traditionally produced--leaves were hung from a barn’s rafters, and a fire was lit well under them, so the leaves absorbed the smoky goodness. Today, many large producers might take shortcuts like latakia “flavoring“--but hopefully not. The ultimate English tobacco, latakia is a hallmark of “serious” non-aromatic blends. It lends an earthy, meaty, savory richness when used in moderation in a mixture; but if too much is used, all other flavors are blotted out. Think of latakia as fresh-ground black pepper--a dash good, a handful too much.

And then there’s Perique (“Per-eek”), a true oddball tobacco. Ask your local (real) tobacconist to let you smell this stuff right from the bulk bag--it’s something every pipe smoker should try once. Because perique is the only tobacco that is fermented--yes, as in fermenting a pickle! Genuine perique is made by pressing the tobacco (a special strain grown correctly only in St. James’ Parish, Louisiana) and letting it stew in its oils and juices for a long length of time. Perique is used in tiny amounts in English blends for a bit of a spicy kick. Do not smoke perique by itself--doing this has been compared to, only half-jokingly, having a lobotomy. I shit you not.

And on the subject of having your brain cut out (“Isn‘t that what your blog does?”), the cut of a pipe tobacco is important due to how it affects the burning qualities and aesthetics of a blend.

The most common cut in pipe tobacco is the ribbon cut, also called long cut and sometimes shag cut. Ribbon cut is the narrow, thin, shoelace-width cut that you’ll find in some respect in nearly all mixtures, and in cigarette tobacco. It burns very easily due to its thinness and length, but can burn a bit too quickly for some smokers. The ribbon cut is also very common in Cavendish blends for easy puffing. Most popular blends, like Apple and Captain Black, are ribbon cut.

Flake cut tobacco looks a bit like a thin chip of wood (flake is also a type of pressed blend, which is another post). A very light, flat cut, it slows burning and gives a blend the visual appeal of a dash of color, for example with Virginia tobacco cut into flakes. The broader plane of this cut also adds more flavor than a ribbon cut, as there is more surface area to burn. McClelland uses Virginia flake in several mixtures.

Like a flake cut, cube cut slows burning but has even more surface area than a flake. So, it adds even more flavor and provides a leisurely smoke. The flavor and subtleties of burley are truly brought out in this cut. This is also the most difficult cut to produce of the three cuts, needing special pressing and cutting equipment, and several layers of burley, to produce a quality cube. This cut is somewhat rare, but is in Uhle’s Perfection Plug Burley and Blend 300.

There’s always more to know about pipe tobacco, and reviewing basic tobaccos and cuts is a good starting point. Now you can even try mixing your own blend--but easy on the perique.

Okay, so Detective Hoffman was really with Jigsaw the whole time….

Twitter: @thepipebit