Whatever Happened to the Uhle Tobacco Company?

"It's not dark yet, but it's gettin' there."

                                                                                           --Bob Dylan, "Not Dark Yet"

September, 2031

Las Vegas, Nevada

Dear Paige,

I did indeed work with your mother, Caroline, at Uhle’s in the early part of this century. As you are completing your Master’s degree in American History, I will try to answer your query as to what, exactly, happened to the Uhle Tobacco Company.

Your Mom and I both worked, for a time, at Uhle’s, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She worked in the retail store, upstairs, while I worked downstairs, in the warehouse. But like everyone there at the time, we talked on occasion, and got along well.

One day, in early January of 2010, the topic we talked about was a new bill that had been introduced in the federal House of Representatives, called The Tobacco Tax Parity Act of 2010. This bill was simple: it raised the tax rate of pipe tobacco from $2.8311 to $24.78 a pound. This sounds like accounting-trick bullshit, and it was; but we knew, even at the time, the consequences of this bill passing would be severe for Uhle’s. And it was. Understand, though, many other smokers were upset at the time; a petition was circulated online, and many blogs spread the word about this bill (indeed, the “mainstream media” of the time never did a single story about it). Your grandfather, Jeff, who owned Uhle’s, also put in many hours trying to stop this bill.

The year before, the U.S. Senate had passed a bill to fun a health-insurance program for children, called SCHIP, that raised the tax on roll-your-own cigarette tobacco to, well, $24.78 a pound; and the current bill of “tax parity,” which was H.R. 4439, was meant to address cigarette tobacco being sold under the name (and only in name) of pipe tobacco.

What happened, after the bill passed as part of a large spending bill later in 2010, was that hardly anyone could afford to buy pipe tobacco anymore. Uhle’s soon had to shutter its pipe tobacco department; and soon after that the tax on cigars was raised to this same incredible, prohibitive amount. And that closed the doors of many tobacconists, large and small, including Uhle’s, ending more than 70 years of business.

How could H.R. 4439 have passed? Aside from the foreplay that SCHIP provided, you have to remember that smoking, and smokers, had been demonized for over 50 years. At that time, you could hardly smoke anywhere but in a smokeshop or--if you were lucky and didn’t live in certain apartments--your own home. 2010 was also the year the Wisconsin state smoking ban went into force (right after Independence Day, ironically). Smokers had accepted taxes, limits and personal insults about their habits and enjoyments for a long time; and maybe, but the time that bill came along, they were too tired to fight. But still should have.

The other reason, as I’m sure you have read about in your history books, Paige, was: when this came about it was a very dividing and polarizing time; we were still at the long, gradual end of the Great Recession; two wars were being fought; and many were upset with the government. Democrats blamed Republicans and Republicans blamed Democrats; bitter words were thrown around with great force, and there seemed to be no common ground. In this arena, H.R. 4439 passed with relative ease.

But that was all a long time ago. What I hope you remember about that time was that we at Uhle’s did try to survive, and fought for our survival.

I am a much older man now. As I take my daily walk with my long-suffering wife, taking in the beauty of the fading day, I sometimes think I would like to be puffing on my pipe, on a blend I had made myself. I would puff it was we walked, slow and serene, at peace with my gentle hobby of puffing, the rich smoke perfuming the early evening air. And when we got home, I would place my pipe in my ashtray, where it would wait patiently for the next time I would pass an idle hour. But pipes and tobaccos are gone now.

I do miss my pipe, though. And my tobacco.

I miss the serenity and peace pipe smoking had brought me.

And most of all I miss Uhle’s, and my friends at that long-ago place, that, as Tennyson said of his own companions, had “toiled, and wrought, and thought with me” for so long, and so long ago.

I wish you the best.

I Remain, and in Remembrance,

Chris

Twitter:  @thepipebit

Update on May 25, 2011:  Although H.R. 4439 died without a vote, in February 2011 Senator Tom Harkin introduced Senate 174, which would raise pipe tobacco taxes even higher than 4439.  The efforts to tax all tobacco out of existence will continue. 
The Uhle Tobacco Company, open since 1939, remains in business.